“My family ran, my brothers ran – so I would run. When we were kids we would go along to athletics nights and in winter harrier’s club days. The thing I looked forward to most was the raspberry lamingtons that always seemed to be part of the afternoon spread. School cross country came naturally to me. I’d always win & I didn’t really need to try all that hard.
As time went on I ran less and focussed more on rugby, surfing and girls. Then as a young adult, working and bringing up a young family. I have two children, a daughter now 22 and son who’s now 15.
At about the age of 27 my older brother forced me to run in his round the mountain composite relay team as he needed someone to fill three legs (about 30km). If my brother asked me to do something I always would, probably because he had drummed into me from a young age the hiding he would give me if I didn’t! So with a handful of training runs I joined the team and we were the first team across the line. This spurred me on to run again. I started training more regularly and entered more races and I was pretty good at a local level, but never as good as I wanted to be, I was never really satisfied.
In fact I was never really satisfied with much in life, I struggled with most things, I was never very attentive in my relationships, I was always impatient and never satisfied with what I had, or where I was. I spent too much time pretending to be happy, while on the inside I would dwell on the negative and what I didn’t have.
My son has autism, and when I separated from my wife, I would only get to see him every second weekend. I found this gap hard to accept and my way of coping with missing him was heading out for a long, hilly run up the top road. Running became more important and the focus on a good result became my main drive.
A few years on, a week out from running a marathon, one that I had been training over a year for, I found out my son was going to come to live with me full time. This was great news, but this would be a massive change in both our lives. I decided to run that marathon as though it was my last, I ran a 6 minute PB and was really pleased with my result, accepting of the fact that would be my last marathon for many years to come.
I knew that the transition of my son into my life full time wasn’t going to be easy and a huge change for us both, but I never dreamed it would be so hard. He was very confused and upset. He’d had a sudden and dramatic change that caused a lot of stress and anxiety. This was very hard for both of us and our mental health struggled. I looked for answers and solutions from medical specialists but found very little – most people would say that’s tough but I don’t know how to help you. I accepted that my life had changed and that I would be confined to my home much more than I was used to, but I realised I still needed something for me.
So I bought a treadmill and joined an online running app and I virtually ran around the globe following my new favourite addiction, a trainer called Tommy Rivs Puzey – his story is truly inspirational. Tommy is an inspiring person with a lust for life who looks for the positives in everything. His positivity became a focus and an escape for me. After work, making dinner & getting my son to bed I would spend an hour most nights running on my treadmill listening to Tommy, hanging on every word. He reminded me what it was to be human again, what a gift running really was – just the fact that I can get up every morning and run and how grateful I can be for that.
It seems I had finally found positivity in running and life – I still train hard but for some reason the results don’t matter as much anymore. Perhaps it’s a coincidence but during my journey of finding happiness on a running app, positivity and success has begun flowing through my life, my relationship with my son has improved, my relationships with others has improved also.
It’s a year later and I’ve run another marathon, with no expectations and far less a focus on results and I ran a new three minute PB. I’ve since ran a further ultra-marathon and marathon with pretty reasonable success. The difference is now instead of being focussed on the result and wanting to be ‘better’ I focus on the fact that I can run, that I get to do this, how lucky I am that others have helped me to run (whether it’s taking care of my son for a while so I can run or its some other small favour). I hope to share this with my son, my friends and family and be able to for a long time to come.
I now know that whenever I’ve had a bad day or I’m frustrated (maybe something went wrong at work) I go for a run – for the first 10 minutes I might feel like shit – chewing over whatever the problem was – but then bit by bit the problem seems to lift and disappear, I’m reminded of the joy of being fit, healthy able to get outdoors and enjoy nature, I’m able to get outside of the issue and just relax and run and before you know it the problem is not so bad, I can put it into perspective and move forward. This is why I run.”
Jon-Paul @jonpaulheather
(New Plymouth)
Photo taken at Lake Tekapo
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